When you are driving around, refusing to pay exorbitant prices for parking, you may notice some shady yet enterprising fellow frantically waving you into a spot.
He may or may not look like this.At this point, you need to make a snap judgment on very little information. You need to determine if the spot is actually one of Austin's free parking spots at that particular time of day. If not, prepare to be towed by some aggressive bastard with a truck waiting in the shadows. If it is a free spot, does the bum look like a Good Bum or an Evil Bum?
Good Bums and Evil Bums can be the same person, depending on the amount of money you give them for "helping" you find a spot. Pay a Good Bum the right amount (who knows what that is) and he will watch your car for the evening and fend off all sorts of rabble. Pay a Good Bum too little and he may or may not turn into an Evil Bum. Pay an Evil Bum the right amount and he will leave your car alone. Pay him too little or, holy shit, nothing and he will go to town on your car. It's a fun guessing game.
So that's Bum Parking for the uninitiated. To be clear: I don't advocate one way or the other. The Bum Parking system can be a vast improvement over "Park Here In This Dark-Ass Lot And Leave Your Neatly Folded $7 In The Metal Kiosk Thing - We May Or May Not Tow You Anyway". The parking garages are lit and protected, but also can be expensive and damn annoying to exit at peak times.
Surely, with such a focus on Austin as the Live Music Capital of the World, we can come up with a better way to get into and out of the city to see a show. Until then, strike up a nice conversation with your chosen bum, spot him a few bucks, thank him for his "service", and cross your damn fingers.
Good Bums and Evil Bums can be the same person, depending on the amount of money you give them for "helping" you find a spot. Pay a Good Bum the right amount (who knows what that is) and he will watch your car for the evening and fend off all sorts of rabble. Pay a Good Bum too little and he may or may not turn into an Evil Bum. Pay an Evil Bum the right amount and he will leave your car alone. Pay him too little or, holy shit, nothing and he will go to town on your car. It's a fun guessing game.
So that's Bum Parking for the uninitiated. To be clear: I don't advocate one way or the other. The Bum Parking system can be a vast improvement over "Park Here In This Dark-Ass Lot And Leave Your Neatly Folded $7 In The Metal Kiosk Thing - We May Or May Not Tow You Anyway". The parking garages are lit and protected, but also can be expensive and damn annoying to exit at peak times.
Surely, with such a focus on Austin as the Live Music Capital of the World, we can come up with a better way to get into and out of the city to see a show. Until then, strike up a nice conversation with your chosen bum, spot him a few bucks, thank him for his "service", and cross your damn fingers.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment